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Showing posts from January, 2017

Catching Feelings

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Anxious. Excited. Confused. Fearful. Lonely. Angry. These are common feelings that I experience often and I'd bet most of you do too. So where am I going to go with this? Wondering? Keep reading. I've been acutely aware of how many "feelings" I've been having lately. I don't like it. It reminds me of a time when my life was dictated by feelings over anything else. I was so lost even though I knew where to look for the answers. I couldn't get past all the feelings. Feelings are not bad but they are not everything. We can feel lonely but that doesn't mean we are justified in seeking out some temporary fix that masquerades as a solution. Loneliness can lead to a bottomless pit. Fear. I've been told by counselors that fear is the opposite of faith and there is the acronym "false expectations appearing real". How often have we let fear affect our lives? My list could go on for pages. I'm also no stranger to being anxious. And

Uninvited

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Are you popular? Do you make friends easily? Depending on how you respond to those questions may help you connect with what I'm attempting to communicate. I'm an observer. Perhaps it has something to do with the variety of people and situations I grew up around. That is one blessing about my parents divorce that I can acknowledge. I grew up interacting in families of different religious beliefs, ways of handling problems, socioeconomic status, and ways of expressing love. Each group of family had an impact on me whether I felt like I belonged or not. These people shaped my world view and I'm glad for it. It has provided me with the capacity to find good in people that don't look, speak, or feel the way I do about something. It helps me see the human in them. As an observer, I mostly felt disconnected, on the outside looking in. This was not their fault but just the way it was. As an adult, less consumed with my own grief, I notice the ones who might otherwise ge

Trumped

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Today is Inauguration Day and we have officially sworn in a new President. So I thought it was only appropriate to time this post for this specific moment in history. Actually, if by chance this spreads on the Internet, I take no credit and pray that God is glorified somehow through my words. I don't even remember watching anything about previous Inauguration Day coverage in my past but my father in law reminded me that it was probably because I was working then or too young. This election, this President, it feels somewhat surreal. There is much division and fear among the people. I can see from friends of Facebook that share political posts that even strong faithful Jesus followers are not all fans of the new President. Others are supporting and applauding him. In my teen years, I was taught how to play euchre. It was fun and nice to be included in something (my parents really just needed a fourth player, but hey). As a twenty-something I jumped at the chance to play the game

I Wanna Go Back

I just want to write a blog entry that I can publish and feel like it lives up to the purpose of creating this blog. So while a few sit in edit mode on the website, for now I am going to reflect more on the message or motive of much of my writing. Music has been as some would say "my best friend" consistently through my growing up and now. So I may often reflect on words from a song like I'm about to do now.  Have you heard the song "I Wanna Go Back" by David Dunn? If not, check it out . It talks about the idea of being like a child in the way we approach God. This is a huge part of my intention with a book I wrote during the first year of my daughter's life where I compared new life with new life in Christ. Somewhere the faith of that little child can get lost in the pressures of growing up and living up to whatever the world tells us. I grew up in the church and I still struggled with losing myself in the currents of the world. I'm grateful to

Light & Momentary Troubles

Today I found myself reading 2 Corinthians 4:17 NIV , first in NIV and then in Msg, KJV, NLT, and AMP translations. Why so many translations? The words "light and momentary troubles" stood out to me and I wanted to know more. Since my daughter was born and I began reading her baby Bible to her, a new thirst for God's Word has been awakened in me. I bought The Message version of the Bible then and started from the beginning in Genesis (I'm not done, stuck in Psalms). Now I like to compare the language and try to get a deeper understanding of what God is trying to communicate to me. So today, I read those words in 2 Corinthians and I thought about the public meltdown my 3yo had leaving the gym this morning. All the strategic planning that goes into being able to do a workout class but also get my 2 young kids in and out of the building safely leaves me more mentally exhausted than physically. Then there is the deafening screaming and inability to solve for why or ho

Clothe Yourself

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In the last week my 16mo old son has decided that he would rather be undressed. He will hardly keep a diaper on and he kicks and flails his arms when I need to put on his pj's or new clothes in the morning. Maybe it has to do with attempting to potty train his big sister but I suspect this may just be something that boys his age do. Its amazing how happy he gets. He leaps on the couch and rolls on the ground. All of this unclothed action terrifies me - the mom with control issues. But, really, who wants to have pee or poo on the floor, or on the table. My son loves climbing onto the table and he is so fast. He wants up, he wants down, clothes off, and then clothes on. Such a busy boy. As my son had a moment of streaking after the last diaper change tonight, the section in the Bible about wearing the Armor of God popped into my mind.  Ephesians 6:10-17 NIV  describes the Armor of God to include the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, a shield of faith, the helmet

Follows & Likes

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(updated 2/5/18, originally published 1/1/17) Even after a year I still need to be cautious about getting too caught up in how many followers or likes there are on this blog. My uncle is a missionary in Puerto Rico and has been for over 40 years. He was in town on furlough Christmas of 2016 and I was privileged to hear him speak. He mentioned how people that follow the mission may get concerned with how big or small the number of people there are in the PR congregation. My uncle said, " its not in the numbers" . Absolutely! It is too easy to get drawn into the statistics of how to get more likes and more reach on Facebook specifically. It's not about that. It's about God's love. God's love is more than a Bible verse post on a cool image. It is so much MORE!!! Look outside and see the undeniable work of our most amazing Father. See the way He reveals himself in our children's smiles. For awhile it seemed that every time I heard a crash or boom fr