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I Am More

This poem may help you to understand my heart and the purpose of the blog. I actually thought about changing the name of the blog to "More Than Just A Mom" but for now, I am not.

Something I notice lately is how often I say or think, "I just" (I just want to get somewhere on time. I just want you to listen to me so I can keep you safe.), or how often I simply add "just" to a statement. I use it in an exhaustive way but what comes to mind for me is that God is just. That may or may not have anything to do with this poem.

Anyways, here is my poem:

I Am More

I am not the one who has it all together
I am more than a beautifully made up face
I am designed perfectly by the Creator of the universe

I am not the dent in the car or the chip in the paint
I am more valuable than any earthly thing
I am redeemed by a king who died for me

I am not the problems or traumas in my life
I am more than the dysfunction in my relationships
I am a child of God

I am not the clothes I wear
I …

Content - Part 2

Wow, well 2019 flew by and I did not do my quarterly updates on my word of the year (#momlife). So today, in January of 2020, I will follow up about my focus word for last year, "content".  In retrospect, I am honestly satisfied with how the year went. Granted a lot changed, but it could have been worse, right? Seriously though, I think it was a good year.

Over the year, I was in the Word daily. I was going to church most weeks. I took my real estate pre-licensing classes and actually passed my test on the first try. We lived on our own for a full year.  My family blessed my kids majorly at Christmas even when I couldn't. My focus on my health and wellness improved significantly and I lost 15lbs and have been maintaining it with a daily commitment to exercise and improved eating. There has been a lot of progress and absolutely no perfection which in itself is awesome. I'm learning to live with less static and more intention.

What did I learn about contentment?

awarene…

Fruits of the Spirit

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Have you ever heard of a company called Misfits Market? It is a online grocery option for the unfavorable or ugly produce that doesn't meet the expectations of the grocery store. At church today the sermon was focused on the passage of Galatians 5:16-26 and the fruits of the Spirit. I ended up drawing a picture of an apple and thinking about the outside of an apple and the different perspectives on how it might be viewed. Thinking about how my own fruit would be viewed compared to how it really is...
Heading into Thanksgiving this week and about to potentially be around lots of people, perhaps challenged emotionally, the pastor asked us to try to be the fruit of the Spirit that we struggle with the most. So....I started breaking down the fruits of the Spirit to figure out what I should focus on. 
The fruits of the Spirit are: lovejoypeacepatiencekindnessgoodnessfaithfulnessgentlenessself-control While thinking of these I opened the Blue Letter Bible app and started reviewing the G…

One-Sided Conversation

have you ever been in a one-sided conversation, like nothing you said was heard at all
or worse that it was totally misunderstood
 have you ever been in a relationship where it felt like it didn't matter if you were really there at all, like you weren't even in the room 
I wonder if that is how God feels
 maybe it isn't so bad if my words aren't heard
 maybe what I have to say isn't all that important 
whatever happened to thinking before we speak  and choosing our words carefully  remember that philosophy
 have you ever been pushed right past when actively trying to listen,  as if a ghost just walked right through you
 sometimes it's like we can't win can't talk listen or stand
 I wonder if that's how God feels 
have you ever prayed like your life depended on it  and maybe it even did
 how did you react when your life didn't end do we say thank you  do we tell a friend  or do we  simply move on and forget
 I wonder how God feels when we call o…

The Picture

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Do you remember that moment you took that first picture of you and your significant other, before it was official? Do you remember the feeling? Take a look at that photo, either physically or in your mind, what feelings does it invoke? Depending on your current situation that answer may vary significantly.

Isn't that just like life though, people change. Our ideas of a person are based on the first impression usually. We build up a fantasy of what life could be like with them. But we all change and often so do our opinions and even possibly how we remember someone or how we remember details of our relationship with them.

Seeing a picture of what once seemed like an ideal relationship that has since broken apart is hard on a soul. It doesn't matter if it is your own picture or of someone else.  In the image you can see the light in a person's eyes, the excitement of not noticing the other's flaws. But once you know that it has been ruined by human nature and sin, it hurts…