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I Am More

This poem may help you to understand my heart and the purpose of the blog. I actually thought about changing the name of the blog to "More Than Just A Mom" but for now, I am not.

Something I notice lately is how often I say or think, "I just" (I just want to get somewhere on time. I just want you to listen to me so I can keep you safe.), or how often I simply add "just" to a statement. I use it in an exhaustive way but what comes to mind for me is that God is just. That may or may not have anything to do with this poem.

Anyways, here is my poem:

I Am More

I am not the one who has it all together
I am more than a beautifully made up face
I am designed perfectly by the Creator of the universe

I am not the dent in the car or the chip in the paint
I am more valuable than any earthly thing
I am redeemed by a king who died for me

I am not the problems or traumas in my life
I am more than the dysfunction in my relationships
I am a child of God

I am not the clothes I wear
I …

One-Sided Conversation

have you ever been in a one-sided conversation, like nothing you said was heard at all
or worse that it was totally misunderstood
 have you ever been in a relationship where it felt like it didn't matter if you were really there at all, like you weren't even in the room 
I wonder if that is how God feels
 maybe it isn't so bad if my words aren't heard
 maybe what I have to say isn't all that important 
whatever happened to thinking before we speak  and choosing our words carefully  remember that philosophy
 have you ever been pushed right past when actively trying to listen,  as if a ghost just walked right through you
 sometimes it's like we can't win can't talk listen or stand
 I wonder if that's how God feels 
have you ever prayed like your life depended on it  and maybe it even did
 how did you react when your life didn't end do we say thank you  do we tell a friend  or do we  simply move on and forget
 I wonder how God feels when we call o…

The Picture

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Do you remember that moment you took that first picture of you and your significant other, before it was official? Do you remember the feeling? Take a look at that photo, either physically or in your mind, what feelings does it invoke? Depending on your current situation that answer may vary significantly.

Isn't that just like life though, people change. Our ideas of a person are based on the first impression usually. We build up a fantasy of what life could be like with them. But we all change and often so do our opinions and even possibly how we remember someone or how we remember details of our relationship with them.

Seeing a picture of what once seemed like an ideal relationship that has since broken apart is hard on a soul. It doesn't matter if it is your own picture or of someone else.  In the image you can see the light in a person's eyes, the excitement of not noticing the other's flaws. But once you know that it has been ruined by human nature and sin, it hurts…

God Only Knows

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God only knows why you are scrolling right now.



Heard the remix of "God Only Knows" by For King and Country with Echosmith driving home after a long day. I'm tired, my kids ate too much candy, and I love music, this song being no exception.

This song could have came out when I was in high school and it would have connected to my heart and soul then. And 21 yrs later there is much more that God only knows about my feelings and struggles. This song's lyrics are timeless, the making of great and classic works of art. Its no surprise it won song of the year.

What is it that God only knows about you? What are you hiding from? running from? afraid of?

Even though you may have heard that God is love and that He loves you regardless of whatever shame weighing on you, it is actually true. Yes, it is! When we actually accept and believe that, life changes.

Walking with God is better than running from Him or anyone else for that matter.

Without God, we fall apart. With God, we …

Go Down Swinging

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I looked out the window and saw snow on my car. Apparently there was a weather report warning of it. Do you pay as much attention to the weather report as I do? It's Ohio in November or was it April 1st, anything is possible. This weather reminds me of a new CD I have loaded in my car. Yes, I still buy Cd's. Luckily, I found this one at a BAM (Books-A-Million) without having to order online. Cd's are becoming a rarity. The CD is The Elements by Toby Mac.

It's been 4 months that I have almost written this blog. What's the hold up? There is not really that much pressure to write, its just my own delay. Or is it the elements of the spiritual warfare getting in my way?

When I'm driving in the car and I listen to this CD, it starts with the song, "The Elements" and I love it! It pumps me up. The part that resonates with me so much lately is the fight, the struggle. For about 6 weeks, I've gotten back into a workout routine and its good. The adrenaline …