These are common feelings that I experience often and I'd bet most of you do too. So where am I going to go with this? Wondering? Keep reading.
I've been acutely aware of how many "feelings" I've been having lately. I don't like it. It reminds me of a time when my life was dictated by feelings over anything else. I was so lost even though I knew where to look for the answers. I couldn't get past all the feelings.
Feelings are not bad but they are not everything. We can feel lonely but that doesn't mean we are justified in seeking out some temporary fix that masquerades as a solution. Loneliness can lead to a bottomless pit. Fear. I've been told by counselors that fear is the opposite of faith and there is the acronym "false expectations appearing real". How often have we let fear affect our lives? My list could go on for pages. I'm also no stranger to being anxious. And on and on. Feelings annoy me.
Feelings are reactions. A self defense course instructor once taught me that its better to act then to react. That stuck with me. So often I had let other people determine what I thought or felt. I couldn't speak for myself. That is an awful quality that hurt me in many situations because I didn't understand my value.
So back to the present, I'm feeling overwhelmed by a variety of my reactions to circumstances in life that I am not in control of. The want to "fix" where I'm not capable or even called to. Trying to take on responsibilities that perhaps no one asked me to. Denial of the actual issues I can influence. Over thinking and drowning out the One true voice because I've got too many of my own ideas. Honestly, I have made so much progress in this area of over-analyzing but it irritates me that I struggle so much. The kids help distract me quite a bit but I can still get worked up.
Wouldn't it be so much simpler if I could find comfort in the fact that I don't have to have all the answers? That God's plan is actually way better than I could ever imagine. If I could just trust.
My solution to all these "feelings" is to stop and get some truth in my face. Pick up the Bible. Remind myself of God's thoughts of who I am. Remember that this is God's world and God created me and all the people I am worried about. God provided a way. I have the gift of the Holy Spirit to pray with me and on my behalf when I don't have the words. Instead of standing here trying to catch all these feelings and thoughts taking me away, I'm going to get grounded in the truth of the Word of God.
Jesus, Thank you for being there, for being real to me and to so many others. I'm sad for those who don't know You or recognize that You are the only way. Use these difficulties to reveal Your power to them Lord. It seems I fell into another little pit of defeat, of darkness and its bringing on all sorts of feelings. Help me to be wise in my response and act like the prized and treasured person You made me to be. Help me to stay focused on Your Truth and promises, to rebuke the devil and his disgusting schemes. I lift up many people in my life who have hurt me because of their own sin. Help me to pray for them and not refuse forgiveness but to follow Your guidance and create healthy boundaries. It's so easy to get sucked into the past hurts and I don't want to go back to the girl I was but I want to continue to move forward into the healing and renewing of my mind. You are mighty to save and you love everyone, everyone! I want to teach my children how to thrive in this unruly and self-seeking world but I want them to remember to stay focused on the goal. This world is but a blink in time compared to the eternity we get with You, Lord. I'm so grateful that I have something to look forward to. I'm so grateful for my amazing snuggles with my babies when I'm feeling blue. You blessed me immensely. In Your Holy Name, Amen.
Thank you! God Bless