12 Step Program to Survive Parenting?

I feel like there should be a 12 step program for surviving parenting.

1) I had a child and my life has become unmanageable.

I have not decided if I am truly powerless in this step. In fact, the more ways I try to prove to myself I have power, I am quickly reminded that I am not harnessing that power well. Hence, it is why I start discipline books but don't finish them, and find myself like a mouse on a wheel, spinning and unaware of the cage I am in.

So here I am trying to improve my life for my kids and family but I hit this wall and wonder if I am doing too much. In the last month I started weaning my son, have stopped eating ice cream and cookies every night, and restarted the serious potty training of no pull ups in the house except during sleeping. Mentally these are all high on my priority list but to physically implement them is challenging. They all involve a physical and mental component of the body and mind.

I can learn to like kale. Over time it is growing on me. It was and is something that took effort and discipline to maintain consistency. It is the same with cutting sugar out of my coffee and not eating the loaf of bread or box of cookies when I am bored at night. I decided to do it and now have to stay focused on why. Weaning and potty training involve so much more than my desire to achieve this goal.

Weaning my son is necessary due to bad cholesterol likely from my unhealthy eating and inconsistent working out. Let's face it, I am happy if I do 5 push ups and a plank everyday, that is not the cardio my body needs. I haven't been pressuring myself because of....well many reasons, some acceptable and others are just excuses and laziness. But the blood work got worse and since my son is over a year, I need to stop nursing and take medication.  Problem is, neither my son nor I truly want to stop nursing. I did good at getting through the whole day til his bedtime but after 2wks of that, he had been sick and teething, craving comfort, I caved and returned to full on demand. My son is getting more aggressive too, its actually obnoxious how he rips at my shirt. He didn't do that until recently. That makes me want to quit. But he is my last baby and I couldn't figure out nursing with my daughter, so its bittersweet. I'm grateful for the time I have had and the ability to provide for my child in this way.

The icing on the cake that I am not supposed to have anymore is potty training. My sweet girl just turned 3 years old yesterday and I just want her to poop on the potty. Why is that soooo hard? Six months ago she did a few times but now I feel like I am traumatizing her somehow she is so resistant. I know this can be difficult for many, so if you are going through it, you are not alone. I'm tired of going back and forth on buying pull ups or easy ups as I prefer lately. I've read advice online. I try. It fails. I give up. I pray. I try again.

I just want to be a good mom. I want to teach my children without shaming them or yelling. But when you start reducing sugar, the body reacts. When weaning, the hormones are changing. There is a lot of stress. I know that I am doing my best for me at this time, but I don't want to become complacent or unaware of my own part in the challenge.

Dear God, Thank you for being my higher power and truly providing all the resources and abilities to handle anything as long as I don't try to take your place as God. I'm not alone, You are with me always. Thank you for the Holy Spirit. Guide me as I attempt to be healthier and enable me to focus my energy where you would want it. Bless this blog and let this process mold me into who you are preparing me to be. Let these words be of encouragement to someone. In Your Capable Powerful Name, Amen.

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Thank you! God Bless


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