Since having my 2nd child, I have noticed people commenting that I have "a peace."

What?!?  Shocked, I wondered if these people really were talking about me. In what may have been one of the most difficult and confusing times in my life, people could identify a peaceful quality in me?

Some people knew me better than others and still were telling me this. I don't know for sure what specific way that I may have been demonstrating peace because I tend to feel so out of control and at a loss for how to handle so many of life's non-fixable obstacles.

Tonight, I was catching up on my morning devotional First5, and the verse in Romans 8:6 struck me.

Any peace that I have is directly from the Holy Spirit.

I spent years and years wasting away, internally struggling because I was living for the flesh. But, now, I have been humbled and finally surrendered my will.

My husband says that I have changed since we got married. Yes, I did. We got pregnant right away and again, yes, that very much changed me. Suddenly, my life was not about me, it was about my family, something that I had desperately wanted since as long as I could remember. But until I gave up the idea that I had control over "my family", I didn't really have peace, instead I had fear.  And fear is not the end of my story.

What I am discovering through my growth, spiritually and emotionally, is that nothing I do is really that critical. While I am special because I am a child of God, I am going to make mistakes and be human, flaws and all.

What does matter is whether or not I am willing to believe, trust, and act according to the direction of the Holy Spirit.

When God truly has full reign over my mess, then I reflect some sort of peace. It has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with my Heavenly Father. I can face difficulties in this life because I know without any doubt that I am secure in the promise of Jesus and nothing can provide peace like fully believing and trusting in my Savior.

Dear God, Oh, how amazing You are. Thank you for the gift of peace in my life. I understand the turmoil of trying to do things on my own, without you, and its a waste. Forgive me the wasted time, wasted energy, wasted opportunities. Thank you for the First5 app, and many other ways that I am connecting to your Word. Thank you for Jesus and what was done for me on the cross. If there is someone who wants that peace but doesn't know how, let them ask and discover You. In Your Name, Amen.

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Thank you! God Bless


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