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Saturday, March 18, 2017

Peace

Since having my 2nd child, I have noticed people commenting that I have "a peace."

What?!?  Shocked, I wondered if these people really were talking about me. In what may have been one of the most difficult and confusing times in my life, people could identify a peaceful quality in me?

Some people knew me better than others and still were telling me this. I don't know for sure what specific way that I may have been demonstrating peace because I tend to feel so out of control and at a loss for how to handle so many of life's non-fixable obstacles.

Tonight, I was catching up on my morning devotional First5, and the verse in Romans 8:6 struck me.


Any peace that I have is directly from the Holy Spirit.

I spent years and years wasting away, internally struggling because I was living for the flesh. But, now, I have been humbled and finally surrendered my will.

My husband says that I have changed since we got married. Yes, I did. We got pregnant right away and again, yes, that very much changed me. Suddenly, my life was not about me, it was about my family, something that I had desperately wanted since as long as I could remember. But until I gave up the idea that I had control over "my family", I didn't really have peace, instead I had fear.  And fear is not the end of my story.



What I am discovering through my growth, spiritually and emotionally, is that nothing I do is really that critical. While I am special because I am a child of God, I am going to make mistakes and be human, flaws and all.

What does matter is whether or not I am willing to believe, trust, and act according to the direction of the Holy Spirit.

When God truly has full reign over my mess, then I reflect some sort of peace. It has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with my Heavenly Father. I can face difficulties in this life because I know without any doubt that I am secure in the promise of Jesus and nothing can provide peace like fully believing and trusting in my Savior.

Dear God, Oh, how amazing You are. Thank you for the gift of peace in my life. I understand the turmoil of trying to do things on my own, without you, and its a waste. Forgive me the wasted time, wasted energy, wasted opportunities. Thank you for the First5 app, and many other ways that I am connecting to your Word. Thank you for Jesus and what was done for me on the cross. If there is someone who wants that peace but doesn't know how, let them ask and discover You. In Your Name, Amen.


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Friday, March 10, 2017

The Gift of Time

Hi, friends. It has been longer than I would like since my last blog post. I have a few in the works but I like to make sure I'm publishing a blog worth reading. Time has been slipping through my fingers lately. I'm distracted, busy, tired, and fatigued. There is a familiarity to this overwhelming way of going about my days which bothers me.

I've been noticing that the topic of idols has come up a few times, which is worth acknowledging. It causes me to wonder if, not if, but what am I making an idol in my life.

We put our house on the market 2 days ago and it has been a whirlwind of cleaning, hiding the clutter, and showings. About a week ago was when we finally decided to do this again. The market may be ready now and we sure are. We don't know where we will go once it sells but I am not worried about that.

However, I am extremely concerned with not scaring off potential buyers and I'm being incredibly accommodating. If you have ever tried to sell a house while living in it with 2 young children you may know my challenges. If its been awhile for you to experience the smell of diapers, the toys, the inability to get out the door in less than an hour, and keeping a house clean, let me say that it is exhausting on a normal day but now there is this extra pressure.

Trying to please everyone is hard. Answering calls with kids screaming is not exactly productive. I'm not trying to complain. I'm actually feeling quite positive considering. This will not be forever, maybe we'll get lucky and get an offer quick. But in the meantime, how I spend my time matters.

Luckily, I have found these pockets of time to do my daily devotions and be still but I feel like I am not connecting with my Heavenly Father. I've been serving in church and starting to sense that I'm so preoccupied with what I need to do that I miss an opportunity to love on someone that I should have. I see the light though and am hopeful that I can slow myself down enough to fully experience my Father and what He is showing me.

Is busyness an idol? Are my kids? Serving? Time to get focused on God's Word and slow down enough to listen for His direction.

Thanks for spending some of your very valuable time with me. I pray you enjoy some time in the Word of God, which will always be true.

Hi Dad, Thank you for your constant love. Thank you that I am feeling so positive in the craziness of selling a house with young kids. Help me recognize when You are speaking to me so that I stop and pay attention. I don't want to go through the motions in serving You. I want to have a healthy attitude and gracious heart. Thank you for those that read this blog and guide them to your will for them as well. In Jesus Name, Amen. 


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