Chase Me

So I had written a summary of what happened yesterday and frankly it was too much fluff, so let's get straight to the point. Let me set the scene. A bored and almost feeling better mom takes a tired 3yo to a busy Target in the middle of the afternoon so she could indulge herself and use a gift card for some storage bins that were on sale. Can you hear me justifying this by saying it was quality mother daughter time? Ha. I was trying to allow myself  this opportunity to give her some independence to walk and listen since its just not possible for me when we have her brother too. The cart I ended up with gave her the option to climb in and out. You can see where this is going. Fast forward a few meltdowns later and we are almost done at the store. But I find myself watching, not in disbelief, as she darts down the middle isle and doesn't stop. I'm chasing her as she goes around the corner out of my sight. Once I can see her again, I observe how she is pausing at the end of that runway and trying to determine if I'm going to come after her from the other side. She hasn't noticed me, so I launch after her and scoop her up into my arms, hoping to scare her. All I want her to feel is fear in that moment that some random stranger could have snatched her away from me but she doesn't. I don't know what she understands. I tell her as I strap her back into the harness of the cart how much it scares me when she runs away because I don't want to lose her. I don't want anyone to take her from me because I love her too much.

Read Psalm 139 in The Message.God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I'm an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of your sight. You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there, too- your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful- I can't take it all in! Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your Sight (verses 1-7a)

When I read that Psalm, I love how God is a reassuring presence and that I can't be out of His sight. Now if I apply this to my daughter, perhaps she is not afraid because she knows I'm chasing her and that I will do what I can to keep her safe. In time, I want to teach her to rely less on me or even her own self sufficiency and to lean more on God.

Another thing I don't want my daughter doing is thinking that a man will be the answer. I spent a lot of time convinced that my future husband would solve my world's problems. Oh how I wish I could get so much of that energy and time wasted on chasing the wrong people or things to make me feel complete. Sorry Disney but there is no prince charming out there, at least not in the way often portrayed. The only man that ever lived without flaws is our perfect Savior Jesus Christ.

 Am I standing at the end of the aisle looking the other way around the corner to see if He's going to come? Do I test God? (see Matt. 4:7) Ask your heart whether or not you are waiting for Him or running from Him. God's love is unlike any human love, God's love is relentless for His children but I have to grow up (1 Cor 13:11 NLT, 2 Timothy 3:14-17) and I have to seek him and not just expect him to seek me. I have a void in me that will not be satisfied with anything other than the love of our Savior.

Dear Jesus, thank you so much for never giving up on me. Thank you for providing a light and a way so that I can always be back by you and know that I'm safe. Thank you for answering me every time I've called out your name "Jesus Jesus Jesus", thank you. Please encourage anyone that may be reading this that doesn't know how much you love them. Fill their world and their hearts with Your warmth and Your comfort and Your love. In Jesus Holy and Precious Name, Amen.


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